Childline
Get help and advice about a wide range of issues. Call 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.
Feeling angry
Most people feel angry sometimes, but if it’s affecting your life, there are things you can try that may help.
Support is also available if you’re finding it hard to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.
Symptoms of anger
Anger can cause many different symptoms. It might affect how you feel physically or mentally, or how you behave.
Some people become aggressive towards others when they’re angry. Other people hide their anger and may take it out on themselves.
It’s not always easy to recognise when anger is the reason why you’re behaving differently.
Physical symptoms
- faster heartbeat
- tense muscles
- clenching your fists
- tightness in your chest
- feeling hot
Mental symptoms
- feeling tense or nervous
- being unable to relax
- being easily irritated
- feeling humiliated
- resenting other people
Changes in behaviour
- shouting
- ignoring people or sulking
- starting fights
- breaking things
- self-harming
Anger management programmes
A typical anger management programme may involve 1-to-1 counselling and working in a small group.
A programme may be a 1-day or weekend course, or over a couple of months. The structure of the programme depends on who provides it, but most programmes include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), as well as counselling.
There are also private courses and therapists who can help with anger issues. Make sure any therapist you see is registered with a professional organisation, such as the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy.
Causes of anger
There are many different causes of anger and it’s different for everyone.
Some common things that make people feel angry include:
- being treated unfairly and feeling powerless to do anything about it
- feeling threatened or attacked
- other people not respecting your authority, feelings or property
- being interrupted when you’re trying to achieve a goal
How you react to anger can depend on lots of things, including:
- the situation you’re in at the moment – if you’re dealing with lots of problems or stress, you may find it harder to control your anger
- your family history – you may have learned unhelpful ways of dealing with anger from the adults around you
- events in your past – people who experience traumatic, frightening or stressful events sometimes develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which can lead to angry outbursts
- substances such as drugs and alcohol – which make some people act more aggressively than usual
Some of the things that make you angry may not bother other people at all.
You might find it hard to explain why you feel this way but talking to someone could help you find a solution.
Find out about the 5 steps to mental wellbeing.
Important
If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence and abuse (violence or threatening behaviour within a relationship), there are places that offer help and support.
You can contact organisations such as:
Find out more about getting help for domestic violence and abuse.
Do
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try to recognise when you start to feel angry so you can take steps to calm down as early as possible
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give yourself time to think before reacting – try counting to 10 and doing calming breathing exercises
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talk to people about what’s making you angry – speak to someone who is not connected to the situation, such as a friend, a GP or a support group such as Samaritans
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exercise – activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax and reduce stress
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find out how to raise your self-esteem, including how to be more assertive
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consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help others. Find out more about peer support on the Mind website
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listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides
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try self-help cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques on the Every Mind Matters website to manage unhelpful thoughts, reframe situations, solve problems and deal with stress
Don't
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do not try to do everything at once; set small targets you can easily achieve
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do not focus on things you cannot change. Focus your time and energy on helping yourself feel better
-
try not to tell yourself that you’re alone – most people feel angry sometimes and support is available
-
try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve anger – these can all contribute to poor mental health
Where to get help
See a GP if:
- you feel you need help dealing with your anger
They may be able to refer you to a local anger management programme or counselling.
See a GP if:
- you’re struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or depression
- you’ve had a low mood for more than 2 weeks
- things you’re trying yourself are not helping
- you would prefer to get a referral from a GP
Ask for an urgent GP appointment or call 111 if:
- you need help urgently, but it’s not an emergency
111 can tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone. Go to NHS 111 online or call 111
Call 999 or go to A&E now if:
- you or someone you know needs immediate help
- you have seriously harmed yourself – for example, by taking a drug overdose
A mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a medical emergency.
Get some help
Organisations that can help
Samaritans
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
The Mix
The Mix can help you take on any challenge you’re facing - from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs.
Papyrus
Are you, or is a young person you know, not coping with life? For confidential suicide prevention advice contact HOPELINE247.
Shout
It's free to text Shout on 85258 from all major mobile networks in the UK anytime, day or night. Your messages are confidential and anonymous.
Youngminds
Whether you want to understand more about how you're feeling and find ways to feel better, or you want to support someone who's struggling, Youngminds can help.
Kooth
Kooth is free, safe and anonymous online mental wellbeing community.